Her chest tightened while thoughts flashed before her paralyzed her fingers, the words not yet written screaming from her heart. If she couldn’t write; it had nothing to do with not having something to say, but everything to do with the weight of the words.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to steady herself, she looks at the screen, almost feeling like peering down the edge of a big cliff, with the last few shaking fingers, she takes her leap, and the story begins to unfold.

…

Junior lay hanging from his seatbelt looking at the ground from the moonroof. Smoke and sparks coming from the front of his gaze; a silhouette farther ahead. Looking to the seat where Greenie was driving and realizing it was empty. Juniors’ adrenaline begins to rush and suddenly his eyes sharpen on the silhouette ahead. Breaking through the glass, he crawls out and towards what he thinks is his friend.

…

Sailor needed a ride home; Pooch makes the rounds to find Greenie - Eyes unable to focus and looking pretty faded on a chair. Holding Greenies shoulder Pooch reassures him that she’ll be right back to drive him home. Looking around she locks eye with Skinny, having a good time, she rases her eyebrows over to Sailer and mouths “He’s Drunk, I’ll be right back” Skinny reaction was reassuring and expecting Pooch back with no concerns crossing his gaze. She was always someone’s saving grace.

Feeling as though she checked in, she signals to Sailor that it was time to go, he nods and meets her at the car.

Sailor, one of Pooches older friends, smiles and reassures her this time it wasn’t him who supplied the party. The moon was just making its appearance with the night still illuminated by the distance setting sun.

Sailor relishes the one-on-one time he gets with Pooch, and she knows it.

“Thanks”

Pooch smiled back at Sailor and started heading towards his house.

…

Pooch agreed to play a game while at Sailors house, can’t do any harm, Skinny knows where she is, so what’s one game anyway? Getting serious and competitive, time went by as it does and Sailor’s phone begins to ring. Pooch leaning in for the next shot when suddenly she hears the most heart stopping sentence to leave anyone’s mouth.

“What do you mean he’s not moving?!”

Pooch drops the pool stick and runs to the conversation between Sailor and whoever was on the other line. Trying to listen in, she hears the screaming voice of her friend Junior.

“HE’S NOT MOVING!” Repeated over and over.

Without a second to think Pooch lunges for the door only to be hit sideways and tackled to the ground.

On top of her Sailor pinning her down yelling that she can’t leave. Kicking and screaming she begs but with no luck under the strength of her panicked friend. The color starts to leave her face as reality settles in… She didn’t go back for Greenie…

The sound of a propeller along with the sound of an ambulance speeding past the neighborhood reassured Pooch. She knew even though she couldn’t leave, someone was coming for them. She closed her eyes drifting in and out of a panicked sleep. If she tried to leave Sailor would make sure, she couldn’t get out. Not until he knew the cost was clear.

Watching the clock, keeping busy with another game, staying still, enraged Pooch even more. Then came the update. Hearing Juniors voice and location finally freed Pooch from Sailors home. The road shimmered with the reflections of fresh rain reminding her of the horrors of the night. Careful with her speed she arrived at the hospital.

Walking through the double doors, she instantly runs into Junior. A sling around his arm, but other than that, seeming to have gotten away with nothing, and Greenie? She looked at Juniors eyes as they change direction down a hallway. Saying nothing more he leaves the hospital. Pooches stomach drops a long with her heart. The hallway stretching as if suddenly doubled in size and distance.

The beeping of machines and the smell of rubbing alcohol fill the air. The echo of her words to Greenie playing back like a broken record in her mind. Her feet heavier making her way past each door slower and slower with every step. The color of the world she was walking through lacked luster and life. Letting her mind be whisked away by fog she finally makes it to the entrance of a door she never thought she’d walk through.

Skinny was already in the room and took her hand. Stepping closer to the bottom of the bed, bloody exposed swollen feet and ankles, she reaches and rests her hand on one. with all her might she looks up at the face she saw earlier that night, but now, hardly recognizable.

…

The heroin and opioid epidemic ran ramped through the town Pooch had grown up in. By the age of eighteen, she had lost more friends than she could count on two hands. That was enough to make anyone start looking for the exit sign.

The last straw was when Perrion passed away from a bad bag. Everyone warned her about him. Perrion was a bad guy, doesn’t have a good record with women. All the rumors of course spread by Skinny who never got Pooch back after she found out the truth about him. She left. It didn’t matter how far she went because he was always only one call away.

Pooch, heading out of the country for a family wedding gets a phone call. The news and the laughter from Skinny sickened her.

“Guess who died?”

The pit in her stomach couldn’t be fixed with food. She looked inside her purse and counted all the bills she had. Suddenly with the overwhelming feeling that money meant nothing she walked into the first store that called her attention and bought herself a necklace, to remember Perrion by.

Despite what everyone said about him, he was never mean to her.

…

The tower of slippers and cigars set the stage for the comfort and class provided by the bride and groom. You could tell that the parents were proud on both sides, making this feel like a royal union. Dancing with distant relatives and drinking her way through her emotions Pooch forgot, just for a moment, that outside of this happy place, there was a lot, a lot, of pain.

Visiting the hospital became routine. Then visiting Greenies home once he got released and spending time with his family brought temporary relief, but the reality was…Greenie. He would never be the same.

Pooch’s childhood suddenly surrounded by ghosts. The only relief would be to drive, everywhere and anywhere. The passing scenery was comforting and felt almost like moving meditation. Until it turned into speeding.

That’s when Pooch caught the eyes of a local officer. The trepidation Pooch felt when she got her first ticket from officer Stiff brought an ominous feeling. The way he leaned in too close, she could hear his nostrils flair as he took a big whiff of her sent. Feeling like a scared pray Infront of a predator Pooch took her ticket and drove home fast, within reason, but fast enough not to run into that man again.

Pooch new that being 19 and home alone made her a big target for men like Officer Stiff. Her medicine was driving, but soon Pooch would discover, she had a new admire lurking up and down her neighborhood.

…

There was a letter from the town informing Pooch she had a ticket still pending payment. Pooch was home alone for three weeks while her parents traveled out of the country. She worked at a local bar as a hostess, and her shifts would end always when the sun was tucked away, and the black sky took its place.

Waiting for the last customer to wrap up so everyone could pool tips and start cleaning up, Pooch noticed that same peculiar cop car that seemed different than all the rest. Officer Stiff was passing her restaurant. She noticed the coloring more of a faded gold reflecting back at her. She relaxed and thought she was just being anxious because of her recent encounter. She pushed it in the back of her mind while she counted her tips and closed up the front of the restaurant.

Saying goodbye to her co-workers, she gets in her car and starts up. Slowly pulling out of the parking lot, a car pulls up behind her. Recognizing a faded gold colored car, she takes a sudden left onto a back road.

Her hands begin to sweat. Using directionals and checking her speed constantly, she starts feeling more relieved as she starts to approach her street. anxious but close to home, she forgets about the gold car. There, a few driveways ahead she sees a gold car turning onto the street where her house was.

Pooch thinks fast and pulls into one of her neighbors’ driveways. Shutting her lights off and waiting, holding her breath as if it made a difference, she sees the gold car drive teasingly past her. Tinted windows not revealing the lurking eyes inside.

She exhales and realizes she was safe, for now, but what did she do to instigate the seemingly slow yet intentional chase? The questions began to flood in. Was he coming for her because of the ticket she couldn’t pay yet? Why did he follow her home? Was he waiting for her to get home? He couldn’t possibly do anything to her unless she actually broke the law…right?

…

Sleep was restless but possible, Pooch made her way out of bed and peeled her eyes open. Picking up the local paper there was Gigi on the front page, found dead, left behind by friends on parents’ porch. Trying to make coffee and focus on the day ahead, the weight of another friend passing, a drug laced with Fenti, a killer, now Pooches new enemy and torment, but not the only one.

Eyes glazed over as the passing of time felt unimportant. Pooch smiled as people came in for dinner and took their seats. Grateful for any opportunity to be alone with her thoughts, Pooch picked up smoking. Since only the smokers were allowed an extra fifteen minutes for their smoke breaks, she found it the best reason to start.

Outside, she took a long drag as she peered off into a distance father past her own vision. No particular thoughts came to mind until someone yelled from the kitchen.

“Hey!”

Shocked out of her daze Pooch puts out the cigarette. While she pressed the embers into the side of the rackety old wooden steps, she feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, suddenly a cold chill creeps through her. She looks up, driving past, was that gold cop car with tinted windows.

…

The second ticket Officer Stiff gave Pooch was for running a yellow light without the intention of slowing down. The next was for noticing she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt. The third was for not using her blinker on a right turn.

“I WANT A WITNESS”

Pooch threw the pen at Officer Stiff. She had enough, she needed people to be witness to what was happening. Officer Stiff was stalking her, following her, and making sure she knew it.

“I won’t sign this ticket until you call for someone else to be here!”

That didn’t stop him, it only encouraged him.

…

Everywhere Pooch turned, her hometown began to feel like a scary flashback. Every street held moments. She slows down and lets one memory take center stage as she drives by a large empty parking lot. She takes one long drag and slows down.

“You ready? When I say Go, you floor it okay? And when I pull this, you stay focused on keeping the wheel turned and keep giving it gas…”

Pooches’ hands sweaty from excitement, Greenie had taken her drifting through the state forest enough times to get her itching for her own ability to do the same in her car. Greenie decided the best place to do this would be in a big enough parking lot.

Looking around, lost in the moment of reminiscing pooch gears up and gets her car ready for the best drift session yet. Revving her engine and starting to speed up, right as she pulls the E-Break she sees him. Ominous and as if expecting her there, the red and blue light flare up. Pooch acts fast and down shifts into third giving her enough torque to get a head start. Speeding her way down back road, she feels it, this man is coming for her, and he might catch her.

Thinking fast she pulls the break and slides into a sideways driveway, backing into the trees for camouflage she turns off the car, jumps out, and starts running. He headlights gave her away with the slow dim setting. Officer Stiff pulls in but to her surprise another officer gets out to look for her. Shining their light around, she hears them call for her.

“Pooch, we know you’re hiding. Come out or we won’t stop looking for you.”

Pooch new she was caught. Her crime? She ran. To her surprise, the officer with Officer Stiff was nice and understanding. He let her know she will have to show up in court for this ticket since she caused a pursuit, but they let her tow her car to her house. The look plastered on Officer Stiffs face was clear that he wasn’t going to let her off that easy. She was lucky there was another officer with him this time.

…

Regardless of all the tickets she had been collecting, she still had to get to work to make any money if she was ever hoping to pay them. She was getting up there with the tickets from Officer Stiff and now letters were being delivered from the police station stating that now her license would be suspended. With no one home and hardly a way to contact anyone, Pooch was left to fend for herself and carry her grief. So, she kept on driving to work.

Pulling into her driveway after a night at work Pooch sees Skinny standing outside her door waiting for her. His eyes swollen with grief. Recognizing the hatred she still carried from the disturbing news about Perrion and his laughter, it was hard for her to feel any pity.

“What do you want?”

Passing Skinny to open her door avoiding his pitiful gaze. Until she felt it, deep in her bones. He wasn’t here for her, and this wasn’t about Perrion. This was about him. She froze, gazed over her shoulder checking the street for the gold cop car. A momentary relief washed over her realizing she was making it to and from work without a license.

Looking back up at Skinny, she finally softens.

“What’s wrong Skinny? I’m tired and there’s a lot going on, I need…”

Before Pooch could finish Skinny breaks down crying hysterically. Unable to control himself and unsure what to do, Pooch just waits, as numbness was beginning to feel like a welcomed regular emotion. She watches as Skinny cry’s unable to feel anything but disgust. What could he possibly feel this bad about when he couldn’t even apologize for his humor in a man’s death.

“I gave him one of those things…Greenie…he took it…and got behind the wheel…”

He was able to spit out the words…Pooch listened…now carefully processing what he was saying.

“You gave him…”

Suddenly everything came crashing down, her reality shattered even more. She starts to recall the night. Greenie and his eyes looking lost and disoriented, Skinny in the same room, her saying goodbye to both of them before leaving to take Sailor home. Skinny was there next to Greenie and Junior.

There was silence. There was anger…then, there was shock.

“You…”

Pooch pushed him off the stoop to her front door, she begins to cry, she remembers the butt dialed voicemail of him and another woman. The deception he carried through their whole relationship. The lies everyone told her, because everyone knew besides her. Skinny was the supplier, not Sailor. It all clicked. She had asked Sailor since he was older to stop supplying, people could get her. Turns out her own boyfriend replaced him.

“Why are you here.”

It wasn’t a question. It was an exclamation but softly spoken as her back hit the door and she slid down to her seat defeated. looking down, crying, and shaking. Nothing was getting better.

Skinny knelt down beside her. Wanting to stroke her hair, wanting to fix the shattered heart he saw. The one he realized had a lot to do with him. He knew sorry would never fix this, and she’d never take him back, but being this close was enough for him to feel her forgiveness and her love, making it that much harder to leave.

“GO!”

…