What gets me

jacqueline | July 5, 2023, 6:12 a.m. Practicing Writing

This is what gets me about wanting to be a writer. 

This will be more than one thing - I've been reading a lot of books lately to get better at writing. I've learned so much about storytelling. The beautiful thing about it was how much the story projected feelings I had for myself. Just a stranger out there wrote a book so relatable to my own personal feelings. Wow. Just wow. I love that. 

That's not what gets me, that's just something I'm learning to admire about writers. They put such transparency to a character's feelings, it's almost as if they are just expressing themself through them and I can feel the beautiful symmetry of humanity. To myself anyway, what gets me - There are SO MANY stories. Every time I started feeling good about my story, and start typing it up, I just feel somewhere out there, someone already told it. Or it's so ridiculously similar that it could just be a subconscious memory trying to play itself out in my head to be relived through my imagination. Retelling something in my way. The more I start digging deep into a plot or try to put time into the development. It all just feels the same. Whether I try for a love story, a thriller, or a mystery. The framework just building blocks from its predecessors. The only time I feel I'm being authentic and not following any grid is when I blog. That's it. 

There's also the part where I've learned something new. Incredible information, and I think "I should write about this! People should know!" Then I look down at the book I'm currently reading holding all of this beautiful information and say "Oh...yeah...that's right." 

But I have thought about writing my experience based on what I've learned. Documentation can't be bad. Plus, everyone's experience is different. So, the forever wish to have a book one day still lives and is thriving. But man, it's not easy. I don't want to blame it on ADHD, but I'm starting to wonder if that could be why I can write or can't write for very long. Still up for debate, I am yet to be convinced it's bad. I like sticking to the more positive side of things. Since I have to live like this anyway. 

Regardless, there is just so much I want to write but simultaneously feel it's all been written. We've been around for so freaking long at this point I feel like we are all copies of something whether we want to admit it or not. Personal opinion.

I want to write, when I sit down to write a story, I run into a few things. 

One big one is, the next day, I feel very different about what I was writing yesterday. I like blogging because I can forget tomorrow and still feel like yesterday and the other days were worth it and no need to look back. Today's different, and I'll write about that. No need for too much consistency as long as the general topic is about writing, which lucky for me, is all a blog is. 

I seem to keep deciding this, I'll just keep blogging and see if this leads me to a book of my own. Suddenly inspiration will strike in the middle of a paragraph and without questioning the wave of energy I'll just let it flow through me onto whatever page is close enough. 

Looks like I guess I'll see. Because looking back at my more recent work, I tried planning, and it felt too mundane. I even tried following a pre-layered outline of storytelling and that didn't serve my writing style either, but I do like it. I like planning a little too much which is why I get stuck, before working on the execution, so of course, I'm working on that, within my plans. (Silly smile here) But I'm sure I'll make it through this, the practice must go on! 

As always, 

You're the best.