Lost words and new direction

jacqueline | May 19, 2022, 5:14 a.m. The Ramble

If my heart could explain the distress of losing internet connection and losing all of the words I just wrote. It would explain it in extreme agony, two or three hours of work lost. 

I want to cry. 

I can't even remember half the things I wrote about, but I knew it was progress and it was perfect progress. My heart feels shattered as I dig back into my memory to replay the words I just wrote. I feel more vested in this now and promise to do my best to replay the orchestra I had thought to have created. 

What I had originally wrote was my attempt at turning my blog into a story in itself. A story about my travels so far. I need practice writing in story form. I want my blog to be more than just writing about writing. I want it to tell its own story. By doing so, I'll develop my own style of writing. 

Writing on the road can be difficult. I end up in a lot of places that don't have service. I also end up in a lot of places that don't have places, just land and lots of road. I have had a lot of time to think and filter through my thoughts. Doing so has given me a better vision of what I want to offer on my blog. I've made it to Oregon and now have some time to reflect on what I've done so far. So, I'll replay it for you in story form, I hope you like it. 

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Title: The road less traveled 

I found a very popular hot spring as I was making my way through Idaho that I wanted to make my camping spot for the night. I put it into my GPS and set off. The road was dark, and the turns twisted dramatically. It was hard to regulate my speed to the turns, even the head lights couldn't illuminate past every hundred and eighty degree turn. 

Finally pulling into the parking lot in the middle of the night gave me great relief as my body and eyes were exhausted. Waking up to a hot spring just a few feet from your car is pretty blissful. Being one of the first to make it to the hot spring before the crowd offered a serene experience. It felt like my own personal spa. As I walked up to the man-made path developed to decorate the naturally flowing hot springs. I appreciated the foliage and the crips cold air. 

I walked straight into the first hot spring I saw, the water was hot, it prickled my legs as I stepped in. The water in this spot was shallow but I didn't know where to find another, so I laid down and let the warm water wrap around me like a silk blanket lulling me into relaxation. A few hours went by before I met a couple walking up to explore the hot springs for themselves. I greeted them excitedly since I hadn't seen people in a few hours after being on the road. They welcomed my excitement and told me a little more about the hot spring I was visiting. It turns out the little pool I had picked was just the entrance. That there were plenty of other pools to pick from that weren't so shallow. That was good news for me, because I was really looking for more of a deeper dip. They pointed me in the right direction as they went to find their own romantic serenity. 

It was beath taking as I took in the sights around the corner from where I originally picked. I see a pool off a rocky ledge. Beautiful rocks strategically placed to identify the hot spring overlooking the reckless waters. Now that was a spot I could bliss out in. 

I took a deep breath and exhaled out all my stress as I dipped myself into the warm water. The river was loud, and the birds played a symphony of chirping sounds as I laid my head down. I closed my eyes and let the sounds around me engulf my entire reality. 

My mind began to wonder and slip into a daydream of the days leading up to this moment. The memories of friends and smiles faded in and out of my mind's eye. Campfires and laughter echoed. Thoughts swam in and out of my mind. The water kept rushing and the birds continued to chirp until I suddenly came back to my pool and out of my thoughts. A whole hour had gone by unnoticed. 

I opened my eyes and came back into my senses. Moving my fingers and toes. I regained consciousness to my surroundings. It was time to head off on my journey to all the places I had designated as important visits. 

As I buckled up and started my car, I felt refreshed and ready for another day on the road. I turned on my GPS and to my surprise, I had absolutely no service. I didn't panic, I picked a good song, a random direction, and started driving. 

Suddenly I was welcomed with shocking views. The wild roads I had been driving on at night were actually the most breathtaking views and so many cliffs I had no idea I was driving on. I took in all the sights and allowed for my random direction to feel right. The memory of the tranquil hot spring slipped back into my mind. I allowed myself to reminisce on the relaxation that place caused me. Suddenly, I see a straight away, and I follow it eager to find a town with Wi-Fi or some kind of service. Then out of nowhere, a side road appeared with cars parked and people setting up rafting gear. 

My excitement overtakes me, and I can't slowdown in time to ask for directions, so I fly past them. Making a quick U-turn at the next stop I drive by them again. Pulling in unorderly like got some attention from the very busy group. I greet the three that walk up to my car.

"Hello! I'm sorry to bother you. I stayed at a hot spring last night and now I can't get out of the forest. My GPS can't find my next destination. I'm heading to Mt. Hood."

Niq introduces himself as Niq with a Q. 

"That's crazy, I didn't think I'd be able to point you in the right direction, but it turns out we are actually from Mt. Hood. We came to Idaho for a six day rafting trip"

Not only did I get directions that sent me on the correct path, but I made new friends along the way. Niq offered a friend's name to connect with once I reached Mt. Hood. I'd make sure to reach out. I was flabbergasted by the serendipity of the situation. Who knew that just trusting my direction could lead to meeting some wonderful people. 

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Title: Don't forget your coffee

Baker was the first town I encountered arriving to Oregon. The houses were so unique in their designs, each with its own little personality. It was adorable. I pulled into a parking spot and got out. It was time to explore a little. 

The town felt desolate. As if I was walking through a ghost town. It felt as if everyone had ran into their homes to hide. Even a auto body shop I walked by was completely open but not a person in sight. I started to think the town was empty and the stores were probably closed. 

I picked a market that was nicely decorated with words about what it carried inside. It seemed eclectic and fun. As I walked in, there were post cards along the wall and an array of kitchen supplies and cute nick-nacks. 

I picked up a tonic looking bottle - Infused with Juniper and Jasmine - as I continued to read the ingredients I was greeted by the cashier. 

"Hello there! have you ever tried those? They are non-alcoholic herb infused drinks. I like this one, it resembles whiskey but without the alcohol."

I later learned the cashiers name was Alex. Alex picked up the yellowish colored bottle. 

"Well that sounds nice. I'd like to have myself a non-alcoholic drink while I drive. I'll take it." 

I went up and checked out one bottle of non-alcoholic herb infused spritzer and a post card for my mom that I later found out was made to be a reusable napkin. I thought to myself, my mom would probably still appreciate this Oregon map reusable napkin. I imagined her running into the kitchen in a disarray looking for something to pick up a spill, then glancing to her fridge where she probably placed the Oregon map reusable napkin and leaping for it in an attempt to save whatever was currently being soiled. 

I laughed at my own thoughts and thanked Alex for the help. As I left I took a look around and went off on a stroll. My legs welcomed the random excursion after sitting for so many hours. Baker was a good example of a quiet town. I came to find out, Baker was a small town. Much smaller than my home town in Connecticut. Even smaller than Vail in Colorado from which I came from. After making it past the main road I entered a neighborhood that spun me right back into the town. I didn't expect it to be such a quick walk. Making it back to my car, I felt I had made my peace with this town and it was time to head deeper into Oregon. 

Pulling into Mt. Hood was amazing. The trees had fully bloomed, and it really felt like summer but without the heat. The temperature was perfect and the town itself even smaller than Baker.

My heart sank when I pulled into the mountain town expecting to reach the mountain people had said you could still ski on. It was closed. I felt defeated and got back on the road. The sun was setting again, and I needed to find a place to camp. Oregon is known for their breweries, so I pulled into the first one I saw. The bartender Jason and I quickly became friends as well as the four patrons at the end of the bar. I could tell this was a local's spot. Tyler and his dog named Dog filled the place with a comfort feeling of home. I shared my stories of where I came from and where I was going. Tyler was a well-traveled man and had many recommendations of places to see on my way. He told me about a hot spring in Olympic National Forest in Washington that I promised to make a destination. Jason let me know of all the places I could go to camp that would be close to the actual mountain that was open. My spirits were lifted finding out that there was in fact a place I could go play with some snow. After closing down the bar it was time to say goodbye and thank you to the kind people that filled my evening with laughter and friendship. 

I took the advice and went on my way to sleep next to the mountain I hoped to ride in the morning. When I woke up, it was raining. Not just a little tiny mist, but a rain so heavy that water bult rivers on the road. I drove the windy roads all the way up to the top of Timberline Mountain part of Mt. Hood. It was raining there too. Jason has said it would rain today but usually at the top of the mountain it turns to snow. It wasn't snow. And the young man that greeted me at the top recommended I come back tomorrow. It would have turned to snow by night fall and it would be a better day tomorrow. 

I didn't know what to do with my day now. I knew I needed coffee and Wi-Fi. So, I turned around and went back down the mountain. I found a quaint little coffee shop where I met Carrie. Talk about finding angels in the most unexpected places. The theme for May was Star Wars and a banner greeting guests said "May the fourth be with you" behind Carrie as she made my Dark Star Mocha. 

I set up shop there for a few hours and got to know Carrie and her creative side. She was fun and loving. She offered advice for places to go and motivated me to see Portland regardless of how dangerous the media had painted it. Another woman came into the coffee shop. She was working an even at Timberline. She also expressed her concerns about visiting Portland. Two of her friend's cars had gotten stolen. This made me weary but not discouraged. I thanked Carrie for the amazing stories and the coffee. After recharging my social battery I was ready to set off to Portland to spend the day. 

Thanks to Carrie, I actually had an amazing time in Portland and I parked my car in secured parking structures while I went off on my walks. People were right. Portland does have a big homeless population but none that were aggressive. If anything, they just needed help. I stopped and chatted with Jay who was homeless and selling papers to get some money. He had moved to Portland a few months ago and ended up getting all of his things stolen from him. He had two dogs and a kitten all on leashes wrapping around me as we talked.

I took in the Portland vibe and submersed myself in the city. I walked in and out of shops and up and down streets. It was worth the visit. 

I ended my day at the Tigard library where I sat down to write. Once the library closed, I made my way out but lost the internet connection. There were two homeless men debating with each other about the hours of the library as I walked out voicing my disappointment. The two homeless men directed their attention to me.

"I thought you were an actor, you need to act better, this isn't the acting I was promised"

Said one man.

"I'll have to fix my disappointment to make it more believable" I said 

As the man laughed enjoying that I continued to play along with him considering my distress. 

"Nothing is lost anymore, its all in the cloud now" 

He said as I made my way to the car. It wasn't in the cloud. But I didn't need to turn around and explain that to him. I just accepted the loss. 

After feeling my heart break a few more times I pulled into a parking lot and used my phones hotspot to rebuild my blog post that I had tragically lost. 

So here I am, huddled in the back of my car finishing this before I head back to my spot again to sleep at the base of Timberline for another attack at riding tomorrow. 

I can only hope this is as good as the words I'll never get back. 

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So, this is the direction I'd like to take my blog. Writing like this allows me to practice story telling. I don't want to just ramble about things I've tried to make up, I want to relive my day and play it back as best I can. This way, my blog tells not only the story of my journey to writing, but it tells the story of my travels too. Maybe when the book comes out, you might see some similarities to my blog and the story being told in the book. Who knows. The story has yet to be told. Thank you for reading and being the living breathing force behind my motivation. 

 I hope I get the chance to write tomorrow, but if I don't, then I'll live to tell the story for another day. So much love to you, my readers, and so many thanks for being with me on this journey.