I wouldn't call it writers block

jacqueline | Jan. 23, 2023, 8:47 a.m. Practicing Writing

I've been distracted. 

Writing hasn't been my top priority at the moment, and I've lost touch. I've been burning the candle at both ends. Snowboarding as many days as I can first thing in the morning to working then being out and about.

I've had some incredible ideas for posts. I have a million pieces of scribbled paper in pockets and backpacks. Thing's that I think are hilarious or ironic. One day I'll get through all those little pieces of paper and it's going to be a game changer for the blog. 

Some things I'd like to improve...staying on a topic, also, having a topic. I'd like to make the most of the words that I write and be clear and concise. If I can do it here, I can do it in a story. Oh, and the story, I've never felt like a boat without a paddle more than I do now. 

I'm so tired when I get home. I lay down staring at the ceiling lost in an exhausted daze. So, when I know I should be writing, I am lost in the thoughts of everything I could write. Millions of thoughts travel past along with a few unwanted inspirations that drag me off to other tasks that have nothing to do with writing. I'll do that for a while then realize that I should probably go to sleep because time has jumped suddenly from a simple six PM to a hard two thirty AM, OUT OF NO WHERE. It's crazy. 

Regardless, I have once again found the rains to the horse in my mind. So, I wouldn't say writers' block. I have so many thoughts and plenty to say, but the act of pulling myself together hasn't been easy. 

This week coming up, I'll be out of the bars and in my house with the intention to write. I have to set time aside intentionally to get through this goal. It's one I'd really like to complete and continue throughout my life. Blogging about it helps motivate me. Even if people don't read this, and nobody cares, it's still a lot of fun for me. 

It gives me something to be passionate about and pursue. I love watching it grow and to see all I've already written. It's inspiring to myself. So maybe yes, I've had a hard time writing a book. It's a challenging thing I've put on myself and I bow down to all those who've completed even just one. I wouldn't say difficult. There's a part of my brain that loves the sensation of inventing. To create a story that could inspire and touch people's hearts. Thats the dream. 

All the stories' I've read that have taken me out of my bedroom and into a whole new world full of characters I myself wouldn't have thought up. Laughing and crying at the relatability to it all. It wasn't my story, but I felt a part of it. I want to give that to other people. And I want to do it right. But then I get so lost in the excitement of learning that I forget to practice. I'll read and think 'that's a good idea' 'I should make a note of that for when I write.' 'What else don't I know about story telling?' 'What other ideas can I get out of this' - Lots of ideas. So many actually, I feel like I'm swimming in a pool of them with no shore. 

So, I guess I have to take a break from studying and put what I've learned so far to work. That's the goal for this week, so expect another post soon, I hope. That's for future me to complete, and I never know with her. Currently, if it wasn't already two AM present me would be so down. 

I got this far. 

As always, 

Thank you for reading <3