How its going

jacqueline | May 9, 2022, 4:24 a.m. The Ramble

Our hearts have a huge effect on our work. Our minds get conflicted and distracted or motivated and driven. Focus can be difficult or easy depending on its condition.  We can fool it for a moment, but inevitably it calls the shots. 

It can be full, and you have plenty to share, or it can be bare, empty, and dry. Your life depends on it and so do your goals. Suddenly everything you ever dreamed of is fleeting or at your feet. You're standing at the top of a mound of gold or being crushed by it. Because you followed your heart and its condition. 

I've been fluctuating between the two. One lasted longer than the other. But I'm not giving up on my work, I'm taking a new direction. I sat face to face with my hearts condition. I made the decision that if my heart isn't in this story, I have to tell a different one. 

I struggled a lot with the story I started writing two years ago. I tried to remember the passion I had for it. But I lost it, I tried to make sense of it and make it work, but I couldn't. It stressed me out more than anything, I couldn't keep writing because my heart wasn't in it. 

I've made it to Connecticut and reconnected with some really amazing friends. After such an amazing time, it reset my soul. I realized that I wanted to be a writer, I wasn't married to that story. I have to let it go and write another. Thats ok. I'd rather have the story just flow through me. Not force it. So, I've started taking notes. I'm back to research. I'm trying to start fresh with new eyes. More growth helped. I needed to be humbled to do this right. 

Thankfully that happened faster than I thought. I went and got a tiny thesaurus and a dictionary. Yes, I know. There's the internet. But I really like the feeling of a book in my hands. Plus, it's nice to disconnect and free write. 

I'm starting the brainstorming process again and with a new approach. Trying to be organic and gluten free. Can't be sticky here. Haaaaaaaaa :D