Holding you

jacqueline | Aug. 22, 2023, 11:09 a.m. Might be a poem

I look at you through my mirror and broken glass 

I don't mean to but I hold you until the feelings pass 

I hear you and the eco screams, but I still stand  

It's haunting sometimes but lessons guide me and swerve me out of the demon's hand

I've healed and it's over and gone at last 

You haunt me but it's like chills that come and go in a flash 

The words that broke me solidified into cement and concrete 

The wolves come by and try to sweep me off my feet 

But I listened and repaired my past by using it as stepping stones 

Plastered past, a bit of broken glass, gold glue holds together now my building can last

It shines and sparkles when the sun hits it just right 

It's cool and comfortable on the hot summer nights 

While I get stoned, not to numb the pain but to feel it too 

To see where I was and where I'm going to 

I've wanted to call you and thank you for breaking me so I can build me up

I wouldn't have had the chance on the pedestal others put me on 

Hitting the ground with all your bullets made of words made me bleed puddles 

I could have died and let myself sink as the puddles turned to lakes and flowed like rivers 

I saved me for my sake 

People think I'm crazy for appreciating all the pain you made me go through 

It was love, for me at least, my heart was weak but I built a boat with every beat

I found a way, I wish one day I could say if it wasn't for you 

Maybe I wouldn't be this strong today 

Sometimes I stay up late at night pretending we made up 

We are friends now and laugh about the past 

I tell you things like damn you were right and I was too  

We just saw things from a different view 

But I sit here still holding you 

My memories paint a version of you I never knew but idolized 

As if we were one made two